Being a Black Rose in a conformist society

Cila's Blog

In our society, there is a majority and minorities. The majority and government usually engages in a form of mind control to push certain agendas and ways of thinking on the public, through use of media, advertising, governmental laws etc. Many people fall for it hook ,line and sinker.  The minorities are usually groups of people who are different from the majority and either rebel or don’t conform to the majority’s standards or share the majority’s viewpoints.These minorities or groups of people are branded or labeled as rebels or “troublemakers” and they are usually placed under strict scrutiny, their activities monitored, and are also st times persecuted. Some groups that come to mind are :the black community, Black Panthers, hippies, the Amish, latinos that practice afro religions, the alternative community,Muslim community, as well as other groups. Some groups are feared, heavily put under surveillance because they are different and the majority feels threatened…

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How to plan a meltdown-free trip

So last month the girls and I went on an 18+ hour road trip to New Jersey, so we could visit with family and attend my sister’s wedding. With Harley-Quinn being her chaotic six-year-old self and Robyn then entering her prime toddler age (or should I say rage) of 18 months, now can y’all say YIKES or.. add in the fact that we weren’t stopping except for bathroom breaks and occasional stretching and let the cringe-worthy anxiety sit in. All that was going through my head was, “Oh god, how am I going to keep these two from making me want to pull my hair out by the end of this trip, let alone be content for such a long stretch of time with limited space?”. Throughout the first few years when it was just Harley and me, we traveled very sparingly. Not just because we were alone, but honestly because I was young and insecure. Years later now our duet’s become a quartet and we couldn’t be happier. This all sounds well and good until I mention that Rob couldn’t join us because we couldn’t afford for him to miss work.

They say with every child you have, the more seasoned you become and to an extent that’s actually true. In my time I have googled everything parenting related under the sun out of fear of screwing these kids up for life somehow. Through trial and error, I have learned what works, and what’s a complete mom-shaming bull. One thing that did work and is a complete must-have is a DIY Road Trip Survival Kit. It doesn’t have to be fancy and is definitely doesn’t need to look like it belongs in someone’s Pinterest board. I used a foldable storage box and put in all kinds of stuff. Here’s some stuff that was included in mine:

  • Mini first aid kit
  • Coloring books
  • Crayons
  • Wipes
  • Children and adult medicine
  • Small paper bags (for possible car sickness)
  • Extra clothes
  • Plastic bags
  • Toilet paper
  • Bottled water
  • Crackers
  • Ginger ale


Music was a god sent on this trip. It’s always been my saving grace, ever since I was one of those young angry kids with a chip on their shoulder. It was important for the road trip playlist to be fun and family-friendly for the kiddos, but it had to include some double base and heavy riffs for this metalhead of a mama to enjoy too! So, well. I compromised. During the day we were hooked up to my phone streaming Pandora stations from the Moana soundtrack to Trolls, then leaving it on the Disney Music station till they eventually tired themselves out from singing and being excited. Once that happened I just put on my usual early 2000’s rock playlist of System of a Down, Slipknot, Korn, etc.. Of course with my mom rolling her eyes and smirking the whole time I was headbanging. I couldn’t help that I was feeling a surge of freedom from the mundane. She knows more than anyone that nothing can put out the flame in her daughter’s spirit; not time, and certainly not age.


Snacks will make or break your trip. There’s gotta be a perfect balance between salty and sweet, then healthy and not to healthy. I always include a little bit of everything because it’s always better to expect even the least expected snack cravings. or better yet someone ends up getting sick, then their food options become limited based on what their tiny tummies can handle. For sweet, I included those Uh Oh Oreos and some soft bake oatmeal for us adults. For salty I packed one of those huge family-sized boxes with all the different chip bags inside, even though they always leave the BBQ and sour cream & onion untouched, not that I’m complaining because those happen to be my favorite. We packed boxes upon boxes of Lunchables and fruits in the cooler as well as juices and more water. 50% of the times they happened to complain was because they were hungry so this kept them content for the majority of the trip. The other 50% was due to pure boredom. Those little rascals had to endure sitting in a car seat and booster for over 18 hours. They had to be entertained somehow, which is why I included:

Games and activities

I’m never going to not suggest packing a multitude of different crafts and car ride games to keep your kiddos entertained. Not everyone can afford cars with DVD players and fold-down screens; whereas some parents completely detest the idea of their kids having any sort of screen time. I would consider myself to be a chaotic neutral, or “Scrunchy” in the mothering world. I believe letting them express their creativity is beneficial to their personal and psychological development, but there are also benefits to letting them have some screen time every now and then. For this trip the girls had an etch a sketch, coloring books, books to read, their dolls and some small toys to play with. In between play sessions with their crafts, I would steer them away from getting cranky by playing different car ride games. For Harley-Quinn, It was always the game I spy that would keep her interested for the longest amount of time. For Robyn, it was a lot harder considering that she is still not able to talk much yet, which makes her frustrated if we can’t understand her wants or needs immediately. Little games such as Peek-a-boo and counting her piggies on her toes did the trick to make her smile. She would shout out the word “Happy!” because that’s how she expresses her excitement.


I just didn’t have the heart not to include these on this post. Anyone who is a parent will know what I’m talking about! Or even if you’re not a parent, maybe you or someone you know might’ve had one of these growing up. For Robyn, It’s literally her security blanket. It’s a raggedy pink and white polka dot blanket she’s had since the day she was born. If she doesn’t have that in her possession to bury her face in when she gets upset, trust and believe that she’ll cause world war 3. Harley has this soft dog-shaped pillow that she got from her grandma for Christmas. She will not sleep anywhere without that thing and kids can get annoyed very fast when they realize they didn’t come prepared. It’s important not to forget these items for them. Harley almost forgot hers and we were down the street when she realized it. When I turned around and let her know she could reach for it in the trunk, she was so stoked and hugged and kissed me over and over. By the end of the trip, She had drawn me some pretty rad almost avant-garde pictures of rainbow kitty-corns. When your kids draw you rad almost avant-garde pictures of rainbow kitty-corns, you know you’ve reached boss mom status.

5 tips that helped me lose 90 pounds in only 8 months

On my first weight loss journey, I was an 18 year old single mother who didn’t have any access to a gym or a source of childcare. What I remember doing was while she would have tummy time, I would search all over sites like Pinterest and Tumblr for fitness inspo, downloading all of the cute and easy workout plans then doing them in my living room between naps. I didn’t have any equipment either so quick budget tip for ya’ll: Use big sauce cans instead of 5 pounds weights and fill some milk jugs with water once you become more comfortable with the cans!

Also, for the whole not having childcare thing, I wore both of my children so they were always taking part in being both my reason for gaining weight, as well as my reasons for losing the weight. I mean, who doesn’t want to be able to chase after their kids during play time or carry them off to bed when they fall asleep on the couch during movie night? next thing I know though, i’m doing it all over again but this time, I have been lucky enough to have the right tools and support along the way. So, now i’m here to spread some knowledge through truth bombs and explaining what key factors were common between both of my experiences with postpartum weight loss.

1. Eat something green once in a while.

I know, sounds pretty self explanatory right? But you would actually be surprised when people will ask me “Wow girl, how did you manage  to do it so fast?!” and when I say whelp, I had to start eating some veggies and train myself to like them, their faces get all pale and their eyes go blank. Now I’m going to tell you right now that no, there really is no magical cleanse or diet pill that’s going to give you the results that you want at the drop of a hat now, capiche? Salad isn’t but most appetizing thing ever (hey, unless you’re into that kinda thing) but even jazzing it up wish some low fat dressing will help tremendously with getting your palate used to it. I personally use the Skinny Girl brand because it’s only 5 calories per tbsp. and it just tastes a lot better then the others in my opinion. Which actually brings me to something that actually did help when I would succumb to the occasional ‘cheat day’ which is:

Stay hydrated you anxious cucumbers!

2. Drink an obnoxious amount of water a day.

Again, pretty self explanatory right? If you ask someone when was the last time that they stopped for a minute throughout their busy day to drink a full 8 ounce glasses of water, they’ll probably scratch their heads looking down like, ‘Hmm… I think this I did this morning’? It is IMPERATIVE that we drink AT LEAST 8 glasses of water throughout the day; but if you really want to thrive and reach your weight loss goals, instead of just enough where you can barely function, you’ve got to make fluids a top priority. Not only does water flush out your system it boosts your metabolism and keeps you content and from snacking mindlessly throughout the day. I remember when I was about 20 pounds down into my journey, and every time I would pee and it’d be clear I would congratulate myself internally like “You go Glen Coco!”

Now what I’m about to bring up is exactly the opposite of what I just suggested in a way, and the next tip for dropping excess weight like a bad habit is:

My ultimate fav low carb snack

3. Snack away, but snack smart.

And how I did this, was I had a snack every 2-3 hours instead of waiting until I was in full blown -I’m so hungry I’m going to eat someone if they look at me wrong- savage mode. While I was actively trying to lose weight, if you took a look in my purse you’d find snacks, upon snacks, upon snacks BUT again, moderation is key here and pay attention to the labels on anything before buying/ingesting it. Always better to be safe then sorry right? So some things that I would keep in my handy dandy purse would be:

  • Atkins Bars
  • Premier Protein Shakes
  • String Cheese
  • Nuts (peanuts, cashews. almonds, etc.)
  • Granola Bars
  • Skinny Popcorn
  • P3 Protein packs

Anything that is low in carbohydrates, but high in protein would be beneficial to having enough energy throughout your day. Another tip that helped me ease out of having to use 4 spoons of sugar in a cup of coffee at a time (I know, so bad of me!) was that I switched from using refined sugar to a sugar substitute called Stevia. It is grown naturally from the Stevia plant instead of formed out of man-made chemicals, making it a healthier option in of itself.

Who needs bread anyway?

 4. Cut high calorie drinks and condiments from your diet.

This is my #1 secret to rapid weight loss. Implementing this rule was when I started seeing the scale go down 3-5 pounds a week! (But be warned that this was probably mostly just water weight at first). I got rid of all sugary drinks from my house and always either stuck with water or those Crystal Light packets you can get from the nearest grocery store. Those are very low calorie but will be good for you if you’re craving some sweetness. Now the brand of condiments what I switched from regular Heinz to (And this is NOT a sponsored post by the way, I just really love their products!) was G Hughes. They have sugar free ketchup, BBQ sauce, honey mustard, and lots of other sauces. I’ve also switched to the sugar free Coffee Mate creamer and trust me; I really didn’t even taste a difference!

I do it for you girl!

5. Find yourself an Accountability-buddy (or at least a good fitness app.)

I was so lucky that I wasn’t alone on this weight loss journey. When there were days that I wasn’t as motivated, or when I just wanted to give up my husband and the girls were always there to remind me why I started in the first place. We would switch every night where one would go to the gym for an hour at night while the other would watch the kids. Nights where we would be able to bring the girls to their grandma’s house and go together would be considered our ‘date nights’.

Even Harley-Quinn,, my 6 year old loves doing yoga with me sometimes. We’ll just stream some Zumba workouts on Youtube and make it fun! But everyone loses motivation along the way. We’re only human, and nobody understands that then this self-proclaimed hot mess mom right here! The trick is to join in with someone who also is determined to chance, even if that support is only found online.

 I joined so many fitness groups and followed people because watching them reach their success made me hopeful that I could do it too. It was important to have that support at home but I also needed to keep myself accountable somehow, and that’s where the Myfitnesspal app came in. I logged everything I ate and it helped me keep track of when I was more successful at keeping myself more disciplined and when I would start to fall by the wayside. You don’t need someone to hold your hand along the way, but it does make things so much smoother.

22 Ways To Support & Help A Blogger

I couldn’t have said it better myself!

New Lune

There are so many ways you can support and help an established or new blogger especially if you like their work and content. I’ve gathered 22 ways to support & help bloggers so if you’re interested, keep on reading!

Vous pouvez soutenir et aider les blogueurs établis ou nouveaux de nombreuses façons, en particulier si vous aimez leur travail et leur contenu. J’ai rassemblé 22 façons de soutenir et d’aider les blogueurs, alors si vous êtes intéressé, continuez à lire!

Related: How to Boost Traffic Without Publishing Blog Posts


Not only that blogger will know you like their content but it’ll be so helpful for them to plan their future content.

Non seulement ce blogueur saura que vous aimez leur contenu, mais il leur sera très utile de planifier leur contenu.


If you’ve found a blog post helpful, comment on that…

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First Blog Post of Many!

Greetings and Salutations! If ya’ll don’t know me yet my name is Melinda Carpenter, and welcome. Here i’m gonna discuss various things like my day to day routine as a Work at Home Mama, Spirituality, self care/self love, gardening inspiration, along with tips and tricks on how to live your healthiest most stress free life, no matter how busy you are or how chaotic your life is (because believe me, the tag line is so true, I am a legit hot mess most of the time). New Content will be posted every Wednesday and Sunday so stay tuned and smash that follow button to subscribe. Ta-ta for now!